


The King of Wonderland

by Friends (GotNoCakeInThisPan)



Series: The Odd Adventures of David King [1]
Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, American McGee's Alice, Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Artistic Liberties, Character death (maybe), Crude Humor, crossover fic, dark version of wonderland, no ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:14:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22446232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GotNoCakeInThisPan/pseuds/Friends
Summary: David ends up falling down a rabbit hole.
Series: The Odd Adventures of David King [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615195
Comments: 5
Kudos: 21





	1. Into Wonderland

**Author's Note:**

> ***check notes at bottom of each chapter for a list of characters***
> 
> ***Tags and characters may come later in the story***

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Chapter updated and edited*

David had gotten shitfaced many times in his life, but as far as he was aware this was certainly the first time that it had him running through a park chasing after a goddamn rabbit of all things. It was a little thing, albino too, but it was wearing a tiny fucking set of clothes that caught his attention enough for him to try and grab it. It was a dapper little fucker and drunk David was absolutely entranced by its tiny vest and little top hat. 

He groaned as the rabbit dodged his grasp again and darted away from him into a culvert. He dropped to his knees, peering in for a glimpse of his current fixation. Drunk David wanted only one thing at this moment and that was to get his hands on this dapper fuckin rabbit, culvert be damned! He huffed, crawling in right after the pest, his eyes struggling to find where it had darted off to in the dark. 

Suddenly, the ground disappeared beneath him and David found himself falling, but he didn’t hit the ground. The tunnel had turned into a massive hole, the cement cutting off leaving him surrounded by dirt walls as his body cut through the air. 

"Fuck!" David screamed as he fell, hands frantically reaching out for something to catch him. His eyes widened as his hand grabbed onto and crumpled a cluster of playing cards. He looked to see teapots, cups, playing cards, books, even entire tables suspended around him, hanging in the air on seemingly nothing. His eyes trailed up to watch the objects float above him in shock and confusion before being harshly brought back to the present by a teacup catching him under the jaw. 

David jerked as the back of his head collided with something else, something hard. Little black dots danced across his vision as he attempted to avoid another hit but a teapot ended up smashing into his stomach, knocking the wind out of him. With a sickening crack, his head smashed into the corner of a table, leaving him blacked out. 

When David woke up he found himself at the bottom of the pit on his back, alive and breathing. He felt weird. Rubbing the back of his head, he shakily stood up only slightly hungover now. He paused, his fingers tangling into something in his hair. He tilted his head, looking down and finding that he was no longer sporting his usual clothing. 

Atop his head was a headband with a bow slapped on it and the rest of his formal attire was replaced with a blue dress and a white apron. A scoff escaped the man’s lips as he took note of white tights and the black mary janes that had replaced his boots and pants. 

"What in the bloody fuck is going on?” he snapped, “What the fuck is this? Where the hell are my clothes?" David looked around and saw, once again, the figure of what seemed to be the rabbit that had led him down the hole staring back at him. 

"You!" David snapped, running down the tunnel towards the small creature who quickly scampered away. 

David shouted in frustration and continued to spring after the rabbit down to a room where he saw the whitetail slip through a small door. Frustrated, he harshly kicked the now closed door only to jump back in surprise when he heard it emit a yelp. 

"Watch where you're kicking asshat!" 

David looked around the room confused, but when his eyes landed back in the door he saw a mouth baring its teeth at him on the knob. 

It took David’s brain a second to process what just happened. His eyes narrowed as he focused on the knob. “Hello?” 

“Down here asshole! Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners? Or were you just too stupid to pick them up?” 

"Let me through, cunt!" David snarled back, kicking the door again, earning him another yelp. 

"No way! Look at you! You're too fucking fat to fit anyways even if you could! Besides," huffed the door. "You kicked me, not once, but twice!"

David squinted at the door, "You're a fucking door! You’re literally a hunk of wood! You can't feel shit!"

It let out a loud gasp, "Rude! Disgustingly rude! Perhaps I should just let you through so you leave me alone!"

"Maybe you fuckin' should, mate! It’d save us both a lot’a trouble.” " David growled, crossing his arms.

The door huffed, “Well, if you used those useless eyes of yours, you would have noticed the table over there with the conveniently named drinks and treats, idiot. Drink makes you small, treat makes you big. Easy enough, yeah? I hope so, asshat. Hopefully, you know how to read.”

David stomped over to the table, grabbing the glass and looking at the dark purple liquid within it. ‘Drink me’ was painted onto with large, elegant letters, every part of him told him not to listen. He ignored that instinct. If it could get him through that door and out of this goddamn place he’ll take it. 

He grabbed one of the treats, frosted with a fancy ‘eat me’, sniffing the concoction that he was about to down. It smelled like that overwhelmingly artificial grape medicine shit he had as a kid and it seemingly had the same viscosity too. Reluctantly, David threw back about half the drink into his mouth. 

Quickly, David found himself shrinking. He wasn’t very happy about it, but at least his clothes shrunk with him. The treat though? No, that stayed giant, falling out of his hands as soon as it became too big to hold. 

He turned, running as quickly as he could towards the door, but as he continued to shrink he realized he was becoming far too small now. 

“Oi! What the fuck?” David shouted at the door, frustrated with this weird magic bullshit. 

“Idiot. Not only are you too small to leave now, but now you’re also too small to get the key under the table!” the door cackled. 

It was getting a kick out of this. 

The door watched David scream as he finally looked back and saw said key. Laughing, it watched him move to the treat to eat a chunk. It only cackled louder as the man grew far too large and was crammed in the small space. David howled in anger. 

“Nice pa-” the door began.

“You better stop talking or I’m gonna kick yer’ damn face again, got it?” He snapped, his face reddening.

The door grumbled, but shut its mouth, not wanting to be kicked by the giant man in front of it. 

David reached to the side and found the bottle, luckily it still had a bit left in it. 

He fumbled for the key under the table, forcefully unlocking the door and pushed it open. He could see a beautiful garden of some sort which was thankfully much more open than the tunnel he was in. 

Taking the final last sip of the liquid, he broke a crumb off the treat and dropped it in his apron pocket as he shrunk to an appropriate size. Hurriedly running through the door, ignoring its taunts, David glanced back one last time as he entered the garden. Starting, whether he knew it or not, what was to be a long and odd adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This account is shared by two authors, Mod Two and Mod Sammy. This story was published by Two and written by a friend.
> 
> Character list:  
> -Alice: David King


	2. Worm Your Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You ever lose a fight to a flower and then wish it killed you 10 minutes later?

Wincing, David raised his hand to shield himself from the sudden brightness of daylight, now realizing just how dim the cave was. He had thought it was still night but given the evidence presented, apparently not. Blinking up at his new surroundings, he was quickly overwhelmed by the vibrant colors sweeping across the landscape. Flowers as large as trees towered over him as they sat comfortably on each side of the conveniently him-sized path. Although he didn’t recognize the types, he never had an interest in such things, he noticed the abnormally large variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. Awestruck, he wandered down the path admiring the exotic foliage, there weren’t many flower gardens in Manchester. Even in the parks, flowers were rather scarce and not nearly as colorful.

David sighed in relief as the dirt path brought him to a cobblestone path, it wasn’t the prettiest path he noted, stepping onto it. Bricks were broken up and bits of moss poked up between some of the old stones, adding blips of color to the pathway itself. It certainly had seen some hard times, the familiarity, however, brought him some comfort.

After what felt like an hour of wandering down the path, he decided to take a break, his shoes were starting to kill his feet. David plopped down onto a spot of moss on the path, enjoying that it turned out to be a very soft and comfortable place to take a break. 

He messed with his tight shoes, popping them off and stretching his feet out. The events of the last hour or so replayed in his head. Was he dead? That was a long-ass hole he fell down, there’s no way he could have survived that, right? This had to be some sort of messed up limbo or heaven-- maybe even hell. 

A soft cooing noise broke the Brit out of his thoughts. David glanced around the flower stalks but saw nothing. Standing up, he slipped the shoes back on, narrowing his eyes as he moved to take a step forward. The feeling of something catching and lifting his skirt a bit stopped him. Whipping around, expecting it to have caught it on a branch or something, he was met with a flower. Its long stalk was bent down over him, as its alarmingly _human_ face examined his form with curious eyes. He took a startled step back and found himself bumping into the head of another flower. “What the h--” he began, cutting himself off as a leaf brushed against his shoulder.

“What an odd flower you are,” murmured the flower in front of him. Its petals were an orange-red, but an uncomfortably similar shade to red hair. They were still folded but were open just enough to allow him to examine the face on its pistil. Bright blue eyes examined him with interest, its expression pinching and distorting a patch of what looked similar to freckles in an odd way. 

“I’m not a flower,” David grunted as he stumbled forward from being shoved by the petals opening behind him. 

The flower behind him was a dark purple, the stench of spray paint greeted him as its petals fully opened. It poked at David’s broad and muscular shoulders. “A moving flower? How curious. Oh, look at those pretty petals! And such a brawny stalk--” 

“I am not a flower, dammit!” David snapped. His face flushed angrily as he whipped around to face the purple flower looming over him. 

_The schoolyard, he was six. Not big enough to hold against others yet. Too small and too weak, that’s what his old man always said. Each belittling taunt from the older boys and his father buried itself into his mind with each fight he got into and lost. He would make his father proud, no one was going to stop him. So he fought harder. He got stronger, bigger, more resilient, till he was no longer the victim._

The memories that flooded into his mind overwhelmed the Brit enough for him to lose his focus. The entire time the flowers had been poking and prodding at him with their words and leaves.

“So oddly shaped, I wonder why he’s so bulky,” the purple one commented, jabbing at David’s bicep. 

The red flower hummed agreeably and pushed David forward, causing him to stumble and come out of his daze. “So bulky and broad, but also so unsteady, how does it walk?”

“ _Stop. Touching. Me,_ ” David barked, his body tensing up as he whipped back towards the red flower. The purple flower seemingly taken aback by the outburst glanced at the red one, who hadn’t seemed to notice the anger in the small flower’s voice. 

Two of its leaves reached out to squish his face. “What are you gonna do about it, sproutling? Change colors some more?” the red flower teased cheerfully, leaning closer to him. 

His face became a darker shade of red as rage overtook his initial embarrassment. “I’m going to give you four seconds to let go of me and leave me alone or I’m going to tear you out of the dirt, asshat!” he snarled. The red flower giggled and pushed him again, thinking nothing of the threat. 

She screeched in agony, jerking back far out of reach as a petal was suddenly ripped from her head. The purple flower dove forward, and harshly grabbed him by his waist, hefting him up high into the air. David twisted to face it with a snarl. The flower squeezed him violently, forcing a choked gasp out of the man’s throat as he dug his nails into the leaves. He wriggled desperately, trying to force the flower’s grip off of him. 

“You're going to regret that, sproutling!" It hissed, leaning close to glare at him.

"I AM NOT A GODDAMN FLOWER!" David took a shot at the flower’s face, landing the punch right in the side of the flower's mouth. Its head reared back as it howled in pain, dropping David from its grasp. 

David landed on his ass with a grunt, a little shocked that he actually managed to hurt the flower-being. He wasted no time taking off while the two flowers were recovering and recollecting themselves from the short-lived scrap. 

Around him, he could hear rustling and murmuring like there were people woken up by the skirmish. Eyeing the foliage, he cautiously looked around and right into another giant set of eyes peering down at him. 

Startled, David lost his footing and went flying down the hill, shredding the white leggings and tearing into the flesh of his knees. Hastily, he got back onto his feet, ignoring the blood dripping down onto his ankles as he sprinted down the cobblestone path, cringing as pain shot up his legs. 

He ran as fast and as far as he could until he couldn’t anymore. Exhaustion and pain wracked his body, his adrenaline started to wear off, forcing him to fall into a quick walk. Panting, he glanced around, noticing how everything had changed yet again. 

He was no longer in a garden-esque area, but rather some type of untamed forest. It was darker here, with much thicker foliage stretching into the sky, killing all the light. Large chunks of shattered pottery were scattered about, sticking straight out of the ground around him. He could feel that the ground had changed too, the broken cobblestone path had morphed into uneven rows of red, heart-shaped bricks that lead ahead through a small clearing. 

_How curious_. He thought shrill tone, mocking the flower’s earlier comment.

He trudged along, eyeing the cluster of colorful mushrooms spread around. He could see in the center of the clearing the glimmer of a reasonably-sized pond which, given the circumstances, was more likely than not a puddle. 

Before he could contemplate it, a vomit-inducing stench slunk into the air, stopping him in his tracks. Keeling over, he stumbled a few steps back in disgust. He could only describe the smell to be like the 2-week-old aftermath of a rat drowning in a vat of milk left out to spoil. But, more concerningly to him, there was nothing in his line of sight to cause it.

Gagging, he dragged himself towards the water, eyeing his surroundings cautiously before deciding it’d be best to tend to his wounds. It was a forest, after all, it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for an animal to die here. Cursing and fumbling around with the fabric, David managed to unzip the back of the stupid dress so he could have a look at the damage dished onto his ribs and torso. 

He grimaced. The angry flower had left some nasty bruising, but it didn't break anything so he pulled the top back on and zipped it quickly. Sitting himself down, he splashed the cool water up onto his knees, washing off the blood and grime. The wounds weren’t deep, but they weren’t small either. He had certainly seen much worse. Sighing, David attempted to tear the bottom of the dress into strips, using them as bandages for now to at least stop the bleeding. 

He stiffened. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled at the familiar feeling of being watched. Balling his fists, he decided that he didn’t care enough to give anyone the assumption they were here to be friendly. Slowly, his eyes trailed up the large mushroom hovering over him to meet sunken in, empty eyes confirming his instincts. 

Due to the light’s angle, David couldn’t make out any details, but he could already tell it was a horrible-looking thing. Tensing up, he watched as it rasped out a laugh that quickly distorted into a gruff smoker's cough. His dark eyes followed the figure’s movements as it reached out to take a hit off the hookah beside it. David quickly took a step back as it leaned down and blew a large purple cloud down onto him.

It was disgusting. The smell before was nothing compared to this stench that tore the air straight from his lungs, burning the whole way down. Choking, David stumbled away from the hazy cloud. Breathing it in made his head spin and limbs weaken. He grasped at his throat, immediately going into a coughing fit the second he got in a breath of fresh air. Gritting his teeth, he snapped his head back to get a good look at whatever had blown the toxic cloud into his face. 

The thing appeared to be some type of overfed worm, a caterpillar he guessed, judging, by the way, its body’s section. Either way, it was incredibly fat, very long, and disturbingly round. Bits of what looked like hair stuck out of the sides of its head, and faded colors were smeared across its face, framing its soulless eyes and grotesque mouth. 

Seemingly amused, the figure beckoned David over, who glanced around before cautiously moving back towards the mushroom it lounged on.

“Oi, mate. What the hell are you doing?” David snapped up to the figure crossing his arms angrily, taking a step back as the lower part of its body descended from the mushroom towards him.

“What am I doing?” it huffed boredly, its voice low and gravelly, and not in an attractive way. “The better question is what are _YOU_ doing?” 

The Brit shuddered when he felt the squishy, bug-like body curl around one his legs, the tiny limbs grabbing ahold of him. A yelp escaped David as he was suddenly jerked up into the air by his leg, dangling upside down before the larva. 

David snatched the dress skirt back up, covering himself, his face flushing once again as he bared his teeth at it. The thing lifted him up to its face, studying him closely. He recoiled as the stench was now blown directly into his face. 

It grinned at him with its slimy, rotten teeth. Its sunken-in, dead eyes crept over his form as it took another puff of its pipe blowing it to the side as it tilted its head. “What's a little thing like you wandering around all alone in the open?” the bug droned out.

 _More of a grub than a caterpillar_ , David decided with a sneer. “How about you mind your own damn business, shithead?” 

The worm’s dead eyes flashed eagerly, straightening up and looming more-so over him, tilting its head down to grin down at him. David choked down a hurl as the creature swung him up towards its face, passing him along its rows of stubby limbs. 

Its jaw dropped down, tongue flopping out to sloppily licking its chapped lips. “What a pretty creature you are. . .” it drawled, eyeing him up and down slowly. 

“Put me down right now, _grub_ , or when I get to my regular size again, I swear to god, I'll grind you into your grave with my heel!” David spat, kicking his free leg out at squishy appendage holding him.

“Regular size?” It crooned curiously, pulling him so close to its face, David’s nose could brush against the horrible snout-like growth on its face.  
“Oh!” The pudgy creature jerked its head back and flipped him over, holding him by the back of the dress collar. “You’re an ‘up-there fella’ aren’t ‘ya?” it mumbled wryly, glancing up at the foliage. David squirmed as it leaned closer to his face, “I’ve got a treat that could help ‘ya out. . .”

David’s eyes narrowed as he watched the bug break a chunk off the ledge of the mushroom. “I don’t want your damn--” He managed to bark out before a round squishy hand stuffed the spongy clump down his throat. He gasped, thrashing violently as the creature’s many limbs slopped onto him, gripping his body tightly into place. Panicking, he tried to scream and spit around the creature’s arm still stuffed in his mouth, too far down for him to bite it off. Its dim eyes lit up in morbid amusement at his struggle. 

Slowly, it slid its arm out, only to roughly clutch his face, forcing the man to either swallow or choke. David had a nasty feeling that it would enjoy either outcome. 

He gagged, finally giving up and forcing the material down. He felt his body crumple as he was dropped back onto the dirt, the shivering and warping telling him the effects were already taking place.

Rolling onto his knees, he heaved, watching the obnoxiously bright world distort around him. Somewhere off to the side, he could hear the caterpillar chuckle dryly at him and the horrible squishing sound of its several limbs scuttling back into the shadows. The mushroom was becoming smaller by the second as his body morphed and stretched. 

David staggered as he pushed himself up onto his feet, clutching his stomach as a wave of nausea poured over him. He forced himself to stand up straight, immediately punting the mushroom still holding the hookah. Gasping for breath, he stomped and trampled the vegetation, fully intending to snuff out any and every sign of life beneath him before collapsing again. His face swooped towards the ground as his hands clutched desperately at his stomach, the nausea swinging back full force as he gurgled back a scream. 

When he finished, he dragged himself a few feet deeper into the woods, eyes darting around in a panic as he clawed himself to the safety beneath a tree. His arms gave out from beneath him as he blacked out, collapsing into the dirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This account is shared by two authors, Mod Two and Mod Sammy. This story was published by Two and written by a friend.
> 
> Character list: 
> 
> -Alice: David  
> -Caterpillar: Clown  
> -Flowers: Meg, Nea, and pals


	3. Wake Up Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the help you want is not the help you get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***check notes at bottom of each chapter for a list of characters***
> 
> ***Tags and characters may come later in the story***
> 
> Art done by @quentinobambino on tumblr

“Shh sh what should we do with him?”

“I think rolling him over so he doesn’t choke on his own vomit was enough.”

David blinked awake as he felt someone nudge his cheek with their shoe. Squinting through the light he was met with a crudely made mask and bright pink hair. “Oh! Hey guys!” She cheered, making him cringe at the loud sound, “He’s not dead!” 

“What the fuck-” David started.

“Well, well, well, looks like _Alice_ finally decided to wake up. Have a good nap, sunshine?”

“Who the fuck you callin’ Alice, mate?” David grunted as he got to his feet, wiping his dress off. 

“You're ruining the game!” The pink one whined, smacking the one who had called him Alice in the back. The Brit’s gaze swept over all of the people surrounding him. There were four of them, all were wearing crude masks and ugly striped jackets. The tallest of the group had called him Alice, he was wearing a pink and rose striped hoodie, the hood a greyish purple, with cat-like ears sitting upon it. A crooked, long striped tail, the same colors as the jacket, lazily flicked around behind him. However, David found the large, bloody smear of a smile across his mask to be his most notable feature.

The one with pink hair was the next one he examined, she was the shortest of the group of four. Her hoodie was stripped with navy blue and magenta. Unlike her leader’s hoodie, her’s followed the pattern all the way up to the tips of the ears. He also noticed her tail was long and very fluffy, the dark blue stripes thinner than the ones on her coat. 

The next one was another girl, she was taller than the other by a few inches. Her hoodie was a dark purple, with lavender stripes wrapping around it. Her hood was a sterile white color, purple tufts of hair poking up on the tips. This one’s tail was long and slim, and a solid dark purple, its tip the same lavender color. 

The last member of the group David was able to spot was hidden away in the trees watching curiously. David squinted at them as they slowly crept over to the rest of the group. It was another guy, he was shorter than the other male but taller than both the girls. His hoodie was striped with blue and orange and his sleek short tail cautiously swayed behind him. One of his cat ‘ears’ flicked as he eyed David right back, tilting his head curiously. 

David rubbed his eyes as he stared at the group, unsure if whatever the hell that grub had shoved down his throat was a hallucinogen or if there were more freaks wandering around. He heard one of the men snicker quietly at him and the rustling of fabric as one slunk closer to him.

“My, my, look’s like you haven’t been here as long as we thought after all~.”

“Ex-fucking-scuse me?” He barked, whipping around at the speaker.

One of them had gotten behind him, their hands folded behind their back as their mask loomed close to his face. It was the red one, but he shouldn’t have been able to get behind him so quickly. Were there more of them? Did they have doubles? He noted how the man’s eyes glowed like Christmas lights behind his mask as they peered at him in amusement. 

David already decided he didn’t like this lot. “Hey, answer my fucking question.” He growled, stepping back farther away from the man.

“Oh,” the red one stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You’re excused.”

The others cackled behind him. He turned around to glare- only to find they weren’t there anymore. He snapped back to the red one with a snarl only to be met with the face of the orange one’s mask. “You’re kinda rude.” He muttered, tilting his head again.

David jumped, shoving the man back. One of the women let out an angry gasp right next to his ear. It was the purple one. “Oh, he’s right, you are rude. Shame, and we were gonna help you too. . .” She grumbled, glaring at him with her neon-blue eyes narrowed into slits.

“A true tragedy~.” The red one agreed with a giggle.

“Guess we should just leave him then.” The pink one hummed.

“Ah. How sad.” The orange one sighed.

“Wait. Wait!” David snapped, crossing his arms defensively. “What kind of help?”

“Oh, you know~.”

“The ways and wheres of Wonderland~.”

“The who’s and who-nots, here and there~.”

“A way out, maybe even possibly~!” 

David stiffened. He watched the group with wide eyes, as they glanced at each other.

“Good luck though!” The red one cheered, turning away from him. The two girls turned and followed but the orange one stayed and watched him for a second before looking back at his group.  
David grabbed the orange one’s arm. “Hold on a fucking second-” he cut himself off, his eyes widening in horror as the other man’s arm unraveled in his hands like the last few inches of string on a spool of thread. He dropped it, watching it uncurl out of existence, breathing harshly through his teeth, ignoring the orange one’s stare.

He grunted, balling his fists, as he felt hands grab onto his shoulder. “Tsk tsk tsk, didn’t you know it's in poor taste to touch other people without their permission~?” a voice he recognized to be the red one’s purred into his ear. David jerked his arm back, fully intending to elbow the man in the stomach, hard. However, he didn’t hit anything at all.

He turned around, smacking the hands off of him only to find the other man wasn’t standing there at all but. . . reclining in the air. He used his now free arms to prop his head up by his cheek as he peered down at the Brit.

“I. . . Well, I could say the same to you, mate.” He tried to say dryly. 

“Well,” He snickered, rolling over onto his back. He made an exaggerated thinking gesture as he peered down at the larger man who watched him with cautious eyes. “I guess you’re right. How _rude_ of me. I'm so so _very_ sorry! No hard feelings though, right, Davey-boy~?” He chittered cheekily.

“How do you know my name?” David snapped out, stepping back from the floating figure, hands curling back into fists.

“Hm~?”

“I’m not in the mood for games.” He murmured out, trying to keep his temper in check as he glared up at the man. “How did ya’ know my name was David?” 

“Oh. You know.” The red one hummed, swinging his hand off his stomach to dangle it before David, catching the wallet slipping out of his sleeve. “We had to figure out who we were supposed to return this to~.”

David snatched it out of his hands, only for it to not be there anymore.

“Yeah.” The pink one chirped behind him. He turned to see her rifling through it casually. “You left it after you smashed into our table! You broke my favorite cup when you fell by the way, but that's okay. Speaking of, is your head okay?”

David tentatively reached for his wallet this time, carefully not to move too quickly or aggressively. The rules were very obviously different here, wherever this was. 

“Yeah, it’s fine. . .” He mumbled as she let him take it, only for it not to be there anymore. “Or not apparently since it seems I can’t fucking keep track of anything.” He growled out, whipping his head around to see the purple one had it now.

“Aw, poor _ba-bey_. Are you not feeling so good?” She spoke dryly, tilting her head patronizingly. “Whatever will we do with you?”

“You’re not doing jack-shit with me, bitch.”

A disembodied hand clamped over his mouth. “Hey, how about you watch that mouth of yours.” David bit back a scream, his hands raised and unsure what to grab at.

“That’s no way to talk to a lady, ya’know~.” The pink one chirped in agreement.

He clawed the hand off of him, watching it unravel into mist. “You’re all fucking crazy!” He hissed, backing farther away from the felines. “Everyone in this fucking hellhole is bat-shit.”

“Yeah and?” the orange one snorted, pushing off a tree and over to the red one.

“No shit, babe.” The red one crooned, leering at him from his new spot on a branch beside him. “Did ya’ think you were special?”

David growled, grabbing for the man against his better judgment, who simply unraveled away from him.

“I’m not like you fucking _abombinations_!” He snapped whipping around to face the red one re-raveling beside him. He was getting the hang of their antics now and he didn’t like them.

“Sure you are!” He mused back. “We’re all mad here.” He flicked his tail in a vague gesture to the rest of the group. “Even me, even her, even you. Don’t worry, it makes everything a real _blast_ , I assure you~.” 

“Fuck you.” He spat back. “I’m not crazy. I’ve just been drugged. A lot apparently. Probably going to die from this. I’m just tripping really fucking hard right now. I get bullied by plants, force-fed by bugs, and then harassed by cat people till I die now apparently. Probably won’t even ever find the guy who slipped god-knows-what into my drink. Amazing. Truly.” 

“Hm.” The red one tilted his head before glancing at the purple one.

“Sounds wild.” The orange one acknowledged.

“You should probably see a doctor about that!” The pink one agreed cheerfully.

\------------------

David squinted at the gate, unsure if he actually wanted to meet the inhabitants behind it. He glanced back behind him only to see the group slink off back into the trees. “Oi! What the fuck?” he shouted, whipping around. David watched the pink-haired one wave and offer a thumbs up before she too disappeared. “Well fuck you too, mate.” The Brit muttered, rubbing his face. 

Hesitantly, he walked through the gate. It led to a garden, a different one than the one he had first found himself in, but he didn’t feel any safer here. There was a very, very large man with a large top hat seated at a very long table which held many, many different types of dishes, cakes, and drinks. A mangy black rabbit with a white face was hobbling around the chairs, cackling, as he harassed what looked to be some kind of curly-haired rodent.

Suddenly, the entire group froze and slowly craned their heads, staring at him blankly. After a tense pause, the man cackled, waving his hand in an inviting gesture at David. The rabbit quickly joined in on his giggles and dived across the table to clumsily get a hold of a teapot, the mouse hollering after him. David tentatively walked closer to the table, he learned from the last few encounters that its best to comply with whatever whims these creatures for self-preservation’s sake. 

“Come! Come! Sit! Get him a cup of tea Danny, don’t hog it all!” The man boomed, swiping a large collection of teacups off the table and patting the seat. David wanted to cringe as they shattered into the grass but remained frozen at the discovery of the man’s face. Wires held his eyes open as he stared at the Brit blankly, but eagerly, the same eagerness creeping into his grin, which was made permanent by metal devices. “Welcome! Welcome! It’s always nice to see new faces! Especially such a-” He paused, leaning close, very close, before he abruptly grabbed David by the dress collar and excitedly forced him to sit down, “lovely one like yours~. Stay awhile, won’t you? We have both food and beverages here for you! No need to go anywhere, sweet thing.” His grin somehow seemed wider as he eyed the Brit for just a moment more before he whipped around towards the end of the table.

The rabbit slammed a cup in front of him, tossing the teapot’s lid away as he dumped it upside down over the pretty porcelain. The scalding hot tea splattering everywhere, droplets burning him as they splashed onto his cheek. The rabbit giggling as a plate smacked him in the back, the mouse already picking up another one as she squeaked angrily, fixing her tiny glasses as she chastised the mangy creature for being rude.

It was a giant tea party and he was the unfortunate guest of honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This account is shared by two authors, Mod Two and Mod Sammy. This story was published by Two and written by a friend.
> 
> Character list:  
> -Alice: David King  
> -Cheshire Cat: The Legion  
> -Mad Hatter: The Doctor  
> -March Hare: Ghostface |Danny 'Jed Olsen' Johnson  
> \- Door Mouse: Claudette


	4. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor is in and tea is out.
> 
> David cries over spilled tea.

David cringed as another teapot shattered. The rabbit gasped and ‘oo’-ed as it watched the hatted man throw various porcelain items to the ground, steaming liquid splattering into the grass. 

“You’re wasting _TEA_.” ‘Danny’ hollered, chucking a plate at the man, who easily dodged it, cackling loudly. 

“Says you!” The mouse squeaked out, tossing a cup back at the rabbit.

“I’m making room for our guest!” The Hatter cried, slamming his fist down dramatically causing the entire table to shake. “How else is he going to relax and _EAT_ if there is no _space_ for him to do so?”

“I’m. . . fine,” David mumbled out, forcing a smile as he raised his hands cautiously. “Not really hungry or thirsty. . .”

The rabbit snorted, rocking back on his haunches as he dramatically threw an arm over his forehead. “No Cake? No _Tea_? _What kind of guest have you brought us?_ ” He yelled into the sky before letting himself fall onto his back in another fit of giggles. 

“A quiet one, hopefully.” The mouse hummed. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll have some tea. Jesus Christ,” the Brit grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose as he watched the group scramble around to get him tea.

“Yeah, Danny, I told you to get him a cup earlier!” The Hatter mocked, swinging his head towards his associate.

“I did! He just didn't drink it!” He huffed, gesturing to the huge puddle on the table where he had been sitting before the mouse forced him to move. The mangy animal scrambled over the table to him. “How much do ya want?” Danny demanded cheerfully, clumsily snatching up another teapot.

David blinked, shrinking away from how _close_ the rabbit had leaned to his face. “Fuck uh, half a cup’s fine I guess. Just give me something.” 

The rabbit cheered, rocking back on his haunches once again before he took off across the table, grabbing another teacup and a butterknife. He plopped the cup down in front of David, flopping onto his stomach before pinning the porcelain to the table. 

David froze as Danny hastily snatched the butter knife and started to cut the teacup as simply as if he were cutting him a slice of bread, ogling as the rabbit proceeded to pour tea into it. To his surprise, the cup filled up, the liquid pressing against the air as if there was a pane of glass on the open side. 

The rabbit slapped the cup in front of the Brit, swaying in place as he stared at him with his soulless black eyes before cackling and dropping down into a sit on the table. “There you go!”

He stared down at his reflection in the cut-off liquid, ignoring the screeching of the dormouse and the sound of more glass shattering.

“So,” The Hatter exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the wobbly old table once again, sending more items off the table. 

“Yeah!”

“Stranger-”

“Friend!” The man exclaimed, shifting so his arm propped him up by the cheek, “What brings you here?”

David’s eyes narrowed in discomfort as he awkwardly sipped from his half-cup, “Uhm, not really here by choice-”

“Why not?” 

He squinted back at the Hatter staring him down across the table. “Wh- what? The hell do you mea-”

The entire table whipped around as the gate slammed shut, a white blur rushing towards them, leaping onto the table as it gasped for breath. “I’m late! Oh, I'm oh so, so very late!” It cried.

In one fell swoop, the Hatter grabbed the creature by the ears, holding it up to his face. “Rabbit!” He cheered. “A pleasure as always!”

David froze. It was the same damn dapper rabbit that dragged him into this whole goddamn mess, “You!”

The other members of the party ignored him, the other two animals scampering across the table to greet the newcomer. The unexpected guest writhed in the Hatter’s grip, cursing and protesting about how he didn’t have time to stay as the Hatter forced him into a seat.

“You always have time for tea!” the Hatter assured cheerfully, patting the small rabbit's head and slamming down a cup of tea. The rabbit glared icily at him, his fingers tapping armrest with smothered anger and impatience. “No. Only _you_ have time for that!”

Danny barreled across the table again, yet another teapot clutched in his mangy paws. The newcomer flinched, attempting to thrash out of his chair as hot tea splattered everywhere, this time because Danny missed the cup completely.

“Oi, rabbit! Maybe learn how liquids work before you bloody pour ‘em.” David snapped at the mangy black one, nose scrunching up at another waste of tea.

The white one shrank into himself as Danny reared back on his haunches.

“I am a _hare _, you _uncultured_ swine!”__

__“No one cares!” The mouse barked, her tiny feet digging into the table as she tugged on the _’hare’s’_ jacket. _ _

__“No one cares?” He shrieked, rearing back again before dramatically flopping down on top of the rodent, ignoring her squeals of protest. “Shall I call you a rat then, dear dormouse?”_ _

__The mouse dug her way out from beneath him, tiny nails digging into the table cloth. “He made an honest mistake! You’re just being rude!” She huffed, fixing her glasses._ _

__The white rabbit stood abruptly, interrupting their bickering as he once again attempted to make a run for it, only to be grabbed up by the ears as the Hatter forced him back into his seat._ _

__“No, no, no, no, no, no, no~! It’s not your turn to leave yet, right now is tea time!”_ _

__“No, I do not have time!” He snapped, gesturing angrily as he dug through his pockets. “See here, my watch says the exact time and I am running quite late!”_ _

__The Hatter hummed and snatched the watch out of the rabbit’s small hands, “Well, I see the problem here!”_ _

__The rabbit cocked its head, and within the blink of an eye, he morphed and stretched, shifting so that there was no longer a rabbit but a young man standing there. He slammed his hands down on the table, ignoring the clinking of the glassware. “Give it back, Hatter.”_ _

__His skin was incredibly pale, his wavy hair stark white, seemingly glowing in the light. Two long white fluffy ears matching those of the rabbit lay flattened against his head. He smoothed his playing card patterned vest and straightened his red bow tie harshly, seething with silent rage._ _

__The young man, once rabbit, eyed David briefly through his messy hair. His eyes were an uncanny shade of pale red, framed with circles so dark he wouldn’t be half surprised if the man hadn’t slept in a year, there was a sense of soullessness in the gaze. However David paid no mind to that, the thing that kept his attention was the three jagged scars scratched across his face._ _

__The pale man whipped back around to snarl at the Hatter. “Then what’s the problem? ple- _ase_ elaborate.” He bared his teeth at the much larger man, “I would rather not be any later than I already am.”_ _

__A giggle erupted from the large man as he dangled the watch mockingly, his glowing white eyes twitching with almost excitement, “You see, dear fuzzy one, _the watch is two days slow!_ ” The man, almost elegantly, rested his hand on his chest in a dramatic gesture. “Allow me to **FIX** it!” _ _

__David froze, the raw feeling of horror washed over him as fear crept up the back of his neck. Visible electricity shot around the wires lodged in the man’s body, going straight from his hands into the watch._ _

__He watched the regret and terror flash across the former rabbit's face, his shoulders rising tensely. “Oh dear, oh no! That is not how you fix it! Please stop!” The rabbit boy pleaded, bouncing around the Hatter desperately, but never daring to touch him._ _

__David cringed, he was sympathetic towards the rabbit, but he was about to pick a fight with a man two feet taller than him shooting electricity out of his hands._ _

__The smell of smoke steadily entered the air as the watch began to melt in the man’s hands. The sharp sound of glass cracking and shattering joined the rabbit’s soft begging before flickers of flames erupted as its innards caught fire._ _

__The rabbit-boy screeched in horror, hopping up onto the table as he watched his poor beautiful watch melt and burn in the Hatter’s hand. “Oh fuck, _no, no, no!_ How will I tell time? I’m always going to be late!” _ _

__The hare let out a shriek of delight, leaning over in another fit of cackles. “You’ll be there on the right day now, though!” He sneered excitedly._ _

__The Brit could only watch, shifting in his seat uncomfortably as he watched the rabbit sob on the table. Then he heard another crash and a yelp._ _

__Danny had chucked the watch at a teapot across the table, the force knocking it off the table and into the grass. The mouse angrily screamed at the hare, grabbing a knife off the table and chasing after him._ _

__David watched emotionlessly as Danny dodged and slapped her away with another laugh, sending her flying across the table straight into his cup. David sighed, watching his tea spill all over the table again._ _

__He could feel his irritation rise as he glanced around the table, suddenly realizing no one was paying any attention to him. David watched for a moment more before scooting his chair out as quietly as he could. Cautiously, he backed away from the chaotic tea party he had been dumb enough to get himself into, he couldn't help but feel very pleased they had not noticed him leaving. As soon as the Brit knew he was in the clear, he sighed exasperatedly, sprinting away out of the gate, leaving the chaos behind him._ _

__

__“Get the help you needed from our dear doctor?” an _, unfortunately,_ familiar voice cooed from the trees._ _

__David tensed again, rearing back to glare at the branches. “That wasn’t a damn doctor as far as I could tell, mate.”_ _

__He heard a giddy laugh, turning to see the red cat lounging on a branch. “Oh? Sounds about right.”_ _

__“Fuck you! What the hell was that? You just fucking leave and I have to deal with that bullshit? You fucking cunt- ”_ _

__“Now, now, now, no need to thank me~,” The cat rolled over, now hanging upside down from his branch as he tutted at David. “You’re wasting time.”_ _

__“Says you! You sent me to get harassed by a nut jo-”_ _

__Still upside down, the man grabbed him by the face, leaning in close as he stared at him excitedly through his mask. “I have something to show you.”_ _

__He dropped onto his feet, sauntering off through the woods. The mask grinning at David as the man looked back over his shoulder. “Follow me.”_ _

__“No, no, no, no. We are _not_ doing this again,” The Brit snapped, taking a step back in the opposite direction. “You ditched me last time and left me with those assholes for _noGuiding me?_ ” David snarled, jabbing an accusing finger at the other man. “You _dumped me_ on some idiot’s doorstep, and _left_. Why did you even come back? Do you think this is fucking funny?”_ _

__“Oh yes. Very.” The cat hummed, cocking his head mockingly again._ _

__He glared back, balling his fists before forcing himself to relax., “Do you actually know a way out?”_ _

__“We’re just trying to help~! Rather kind of us I'd say, seeing as no one else wants to.” The red one chittered, not moving from his spot. Its eyes narrowed at David, “Take it or leave it.”_ _

__David bristled. He still didn’t know where he was, and he was far from comfortable with this situation. It was a trick the cats had used before and one he hated to indulge, and most of all he hated having to depend on someone he didn’t like._ _

__“Fine. Where are we going now?”_ _

__He could sense the cat was grinning under his mask. “This way,” he sang._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character list:
> 
> -Alice: David  
> -The Hare: Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson | The Ghostface  
> \- Dormouse: Claudette  
> \- The Mad Hatter: Herman Carter | The Doctor  
> \- The white rabbit: Quentin Smith  
> \- Cheshire(s): The Legion | F.J.S.J


End file.
